I am not to the end of my journey - I haven't 'solved' all my issues with food and my emotions. I've gotten lax about a number of things - made excuses - made, what for me, are not the best choices. That has resulted in my weight creeping up, my head telling me it's OK to sit in front of the computer or the TV or sit reading instead of going for my walk or attending my yoga classes. This is not a path that is good for me. I have not quit going to my WW meetings, though in the past this is the stage where I would throw in the towel and quit. I'm not quitting.
I have struggled with my weight my whole adult life. We all get struggles. My biggest is with food and using it to handle most everything that involves feelings. Plus I never thought I liked exercise of any kind. My pattern in the past was to lose some weight, rarely exercise even when I was 'on a diet', excuse myself out of my 'diet', gain it all back and more, and repeat over and over. The first time I joined Weight Watchers (which has worked well for me more than once) was when I was engaged and wanted to lose a bit for my wedding. That was 40 years ago this year. I have never gotten to my Weight Watcher 'Goal' weight (whatever number that might be at the time - it's changed). I would like to do that and my doctor and I have set a number that she and I can live with and that we feel I could maintain. I'm not there yet. I was 12 pounds away from it 15 months ago. I'm now over 37 pounds away from it. As I said above - this is an honest post. It's not so much about that exact number - it's about learning to process my emotions differently, being kind yet also firm with myself regarding health and fitness, and then also being 'at goal' for the first time. This is a challenge for a lifetime.
I think that long-term maintainable weight loss takes much longer than anyone would imagine. I feel that 99% of it is psychological. Some things are easy to figure out, if not very fun to do. Some things kind of creep up on you - one thinks that a behavior or mindset is resolved and then it's not. It just shows up in another way. For example, I rid my house of certain foods that I have trouble with regarding portion size - we have called them 'red light' foods in the past. And you think - OK that's done - except, something else can become one of those foods - even something that never was a struggle before - like peanut butter. Sigh. I was never a peanut butter lover - now I could probably eat a whole jar at one sitting. I may not be able to eat it anymore or perhaps only rarely.
Well, I don't mean to go on and on. I started this post to say that I have begun walking regularly again. I attended yoga on Tuesday of this week and plan to attend Thursday, the day that this post will be live. I am refocusing on what to do with my eating plans, tracking what I do eat, and also being a little more strict with myself again. This is needed and, though it's a challenge, it's really good for me. We will have some trips later in the year. Some are to places where I have loved to take challenging walks. I want to be able to do that and enjoy them and take beautiful pictures to share. I don't want to have to buy new clothes again (in a bigger size!). I liked buying clothes in a smaller size. Ha! I want my husband and I to enjoy this 40th year of marriage and not take for granted the good health that we are experiencing. He works hard to be compliant with what his cardiologist says is best for his heart health - he can't make his heart history go away, but he can try to avoid more problems in that regard. I have worked hard too to avoid becoming diabetic and to reduce all the other high numbers that I had. I intend to continue to reinforce that hard work. I'll share a few pictures below to remind myself what I am committing to each week.
Thanks for listening! This post was mostly for me, but I do appreciate your kindness in being my friends and supporting me. So, if I don't comment as often on your posts (though I do read them), just imagine that I'm in a yoga class or striding around a walking track or outside listening to something fabulous.
Kay, I understand completely. I feel so much better when I don't eat foods (if you can really call these things food) that are not healthy foods and when I exercise on a regular basis. Over the Christmas holidays, I found myself engaging in some old bad habits. I've had to completely take all my sugary foods off the menu to get all of that out of my system, and I started back to yoga and walking this week. I already feel better. Good luck for you, too.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Deb. Yes, I think that a little restraint and a more movement will be what I need.
DeleteIt isn't easy to keep up commitment to goals, which is why I don't usually set them. This year may be different because I'm keeping it simple, but like you, I'm going to try. Last year, I made progress on not eating peanut butter on Ritz crackers as my frequent snack during the day. I ran out of peanut butter and decided not to replace it for a while. Eventually, the craving lessened! We all know that the Thanksgiving and Christmas coming so close together is a problem, but I succumb each year to all of the temptations.
ReplyDeleteI found this podcast about habits interesting.
Thanks for suggesting a podcast, Jenclair. I'll take a look at it. Yes, getting rid of the peanut butter for a while would be good, but my husband eats it and doesn't have trouble with restraint. I've decided that I can and will stay away from it. Ha! I suspect I'll eventually go back to my former way of ignoring it because it doesn't tempt me.
DeleteI have made healthy habits a priority in the last few years and I know it's not always easy - especially when you're around other people. I have found exercising first thing in the morning and getting it over with works for me. Good luck with your journey!
ReplyDeleteI know that you and your husband have made exercising a big priority, Kathy. Yes, I also find that doing things in the morning are best for me in the exercise realm. By afternoon, I'm tired. It helps that I am a natural early riser. Thanks for the encouragement.
DeleteEating habits are the worst to revise. I think it is all psychological. We have to eat to live so it isn't something you can just stop. Exercise this time of year is really difficult too. I hate to go to a gym. I know it can be helpful. Our dog makes us walk daily. The poor dear would like to walk even more but we only manage a half mile or so. Better than nothing. Best of luck on your quest.
ReplyDeleteLisa, I agree that reigning in the food intake is difficult because one can't stop eating entirely. And one doesn't want to be so strict that resentment appears. I've been that route too. It's a real balance - as I said, challenge of a lifetime. I bet you guys have a fun time walking your dog. Thanks for the kind words.
DeleteHoney, I am right there with ya. I hit goal on WW TWICE over my lifetime. Both times, were super easy. Other members hated me. I lost every week. No sweat. But then, after hitting goal I could never stay there.
ReplyDeleteNow, I am doing WW again. Have been for about four months. Down 15 lbs but now I know what those other members were struggling with. Age, pre-menopausal crap, much of which is out of my control. I do what I am supposed to and I am plateaued. Over the holidays I did not gain but I did not lose either. Stuck.
We do what we have to do for health. We must. I no longer care about looks. I just don't want to die when I go to camp this summer with my group. I nearly passed out last year from all that hill climbing and elevation shifts. I was a mess and I shouldn't be a mess.
I like food for comfort too. Like you. If you asked me what a perfect night would be, it would be me, at home with a big gluten free pizza. LOL. Food is not entertainment but I've made it so.
We can do this. Now that you have focused on walking again get those podcasts and audio books going. I really need to do the same.
Ti, I know you understand what I'm saying. Glad you are sharing your own WW journey and 15 pounds is a lot! Yes, the aging thing does get in the way and can makes some things a little more difficult. I think you are very smart to work on this before you go back to the summer camp thing. I do know that I was much more comfortable at higher elevations without so much weight - both in the breathing aspect and just general walking without keeling over. I want that again!! Thanks for the support and right back at you, girlfriend!!
DeleteKay, I can and do empathize. I have had weight problems since I was 20 and only managed to get to a good weight for me twice, mostly through exercise. Now, I don't get enough exercise and I cannot walk too far or uphill with ease. I want to lose weight but even more I want to increase my mobility to be able to take nature walks and photography outings like we used to. My son encourages me to walk each day (with him), but habits are hard to change. (My husband and I will celebrate our 40th anniversary this month.)
ReplyDeleteCongratulations on your 40th, Tracy. And thanks for the kind words. Yes, habits are tough, but with baby steps and persistence, they can change. Good luck to you. You'll have more time now that you are retired, so get out there! LOL
DeleteKay, I feel like much of your post could have been written by me so I do feel like I know where you are coming from. I've yoyo'ed all my adult life and have joined and quit WW at least 10 times in my life never reaching goal. I'd lose 20-30 lbs and thought I looked pretty good and quit and gained.
ReplyDeleteAlmost 5 years ago I stopped stressing about my weight and actually lost 10-12lbs after retiring with less tempting foods around and a bit more exercise. I'm lucky to be very healthy for a very heavy person. I only take a thyroid pill (since I was 50) and my BP, cholesterol and sugar are good as well. My doctor did say that one can be healthy and overweight. I no longer obsess about the scale as a result.
I'll be rooting for you to get back in the zone.
Diane, I know we've talked a little about this in the past and I'm so glad that you have not had the bad numbers that I've had. Yes, I think one can be healthy and overweight, but I also think that if those health indications start arising, it's good to pay attention. I'm not so much about the exact number of my weight, I just want the healthy life. My doctor and I talked about the BMI and the number that it said was best for me (which is what WW uses unless your doctor says otherwise). She encouraged me to set a goal that was higher and more manageable, so we did. It's a goal that I know I can achieve.
DeleteI'm so glad you shared this honest and open post, Kay. Just the act of writing it down must help with personal accountability and motivation. Plus, you've given us all something to think about. I gave up wine for a month after my husband was in the hospital for a few days in November. It just wasn't available to me for a few days and when we got home (and he wasn't drinking his one nightly beer), I decided to abstain, as well. It became easier and easier to have a seltzer with POM juice instead of wine. I lost several pounds and felt great. Then the holidays arrived and I went back to having a glass (or two) every day. The weight returned. You have motivated me to work on breaking this habit once again! I'm off to yoga tonight and will send you positive thoughts. Wish we lived closer so we could walk together.
ReplyDeleteLes, I wish we lived closer too. I'd love to be able to walk that oceanview trail by your house. Yes, I did do the post for personal accountability. It was mostly for me, but also to put out there my goals in this regard. It somehow seemed more real that way. These are the sort of things that we talk about weekly in my WW meeting, but I'm not the only one there and so can't always have the floor to speak. Ha! Good luck with your habit-breaking. ;-)
DeleteI can relate to this so much. My weight has gone up and down so much during my adult years. I hadn't weighed myself in so long and was feeling pretty good, but just recently got back on the scale and was pretty horrified. I totally understand making excuses for "cheating" on a diet, too. Wishing you all the best, Kay, and hope you're enjoying your walks!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Angela. Your kind words are appreciated. I always love when you share the hikes and walks you and your husband take all over in your travels.
DeleteI'm struggling with weight really for the first time in my life. I've always been slim which is great but the bad thing is that so much of my self worth is tied up into that silly number on the scale and my food habits weren't great. I'm trying to lose weight but I have no idea how to do it and some really unhealthy thoughts and habits. This was a really helpful post for me because you're not giving up and that reminds me that I shouldn't give up either. Enjoy your walks and yoga. I love yoga and always feel better physically and emotionally when I'm practicing regularly.
ReplyDeleteKatherine, I do understand and as Ti said above, I think that some things become harder as certain parts of our bodies change with menopause, etc. If I had advice for you, I'd say to be kind to yourself, take baby steps, and perhaps make small changes in your eating. Our tastes do change - mine have regarding rich foods and really sweet foods - I don't crave them or really even like them anymore. And a walk or yoga every day will help the mood because endorphins are real. Feel free to email if you have any other questions or want to talk further.
DeleteHappy New Year, Kay! What a fantastic post - you're an inspiration.
ReplyDeleteI too struggle with my weight and you have encouraged me to get back into doing more exercise. I much prefer reading. I used to do yoga but stopped years ago when my yoga teacher moved away. I go to a Keep Fit class once a week - the first one of this year is this morning - but it's not enough. I need to get out more, get walking etc Good luck for 2020!
Thanks for the sweet words, Margaret. I'm glad that you found some inspiration in my thoughts and words here. I did write it for my own accountability, but I also am pleased that it has resonated with several. I think going to a Keep Fit class sounds great and also a lot of yoga is available on-line these days. Maybe something to investigate.
DeleteVicki, isn't it interesting that we can just tell when there are more pounds on us. I think the challenge is to decide how much of an increase is tolerable and when to reign things in. I did notice that certain aspects of yoga were not as easy for me as the last time I went.
ReplyDeleteGood for you that you are motivated and working to keep yourself that way. I'm hoping to get into the habit of walking every day myself this year. Honestly I'm now always the best with motivation but I too have put on a little weight that I would like to work on getting off. Plus, I just want to be healthier for my kids which means taking that time and exercising! We are also going to try and incorporate more vegetarian meals as another way for us to eat a bit healthier. I've been adding recipes to my Pinterest board so here is to hoping they turn out :)
ReplyDeleteSamantha, it sounds like you've got a good plan for this year. Good luck with those things and I think your wanting to be healthier for your kids is a great. I did not set the best example for my own daughter, but as she's been grown for a long time, she has to go her own way in that regard. I can't remember if you do audiobooks, but you might try them for your walks. I used the JD Robb series to encourage my habit-making in that regard a couple of years ago. It was my treat to myself. LOL
DeleteSuch an "real" post Kay and I can relate to so much of this! I've done WW, dropped 25 pounds, met my goal, and then gained it back. It's so hard to maintain... esp with aging bodies. Since moving to FL, I am more active and FEEL much better even if my weight hasn't changed all that much. I'm planning to join the local rec center next week and will try their basic yoga class with a new friend. I walk three miles on my morning walk... at least 5 times a week if I can. We tried pickleball for the first time this week and had so much fun! No clue what I'm doing, but had a good time. Trying to ride my bike more, too.
ReplyDeleteFood is more complicated. Hubby likes to eat out a couple times a week, but it's harder for me at restaurants... so much easier to control portions, ingredients , and try healthy recipes at home. Good luck working toward your goals!
JoAnn, I bet you'll get into lots of new activities in FL. And I love the fact that you take the beach walks. Walking and hearing the ocean is one of my favorite pursuits in Oregon - I envy Les having that available to her. And she's a pickleball lover. It is very popular at our local rec center. As to food, one of the good things in our area - new restaurants with more farm-to-table approaches. And I eat a lot of fish, salmon mostly. And salads. :-)
DeleteJoAnn, I am obsessed with pickelball! It's so much fun and such great exercise. I play three times a week and am tempted to play every day. :)
DeleteGood for you! You're doing awesome, even if you're not at goal. Seriously, you're a big inspiration for me because I'm the join-quit-join-quit-join-quit kind of WWer. I'm learning to be patient and forgive myself. I agree with you that 99% of it is psychological!
ReplyDeleteYes, you and I have talked a bit about this haven't we? I know that you are a fellow WWer and I agree that trying to make this a lifestyle requires a lot of patience and forgiveness. It's just hard - much easier to stop and sit (and of course eat). I wish you the best in your journey as well, Susan. We will continue on, right? Challenge of a lifetime.
DeleteIt sounds like you are on the right path, Kay. And I love your positive attitude. I have had my own struggles with my weight over the years and can relate to so much of what you have experienced. I wish you well in your continued efforts to live a healthy and balanced life.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Wendy. Yes, I think healthy and balanced is what I am aiming for. :-)
DeleteKay good for you for working so hard on your health. The past year I've really fallen off the healthy bandwagon. I have a million excuses but ultimately I need to prioritize. I hope you continue to do well and no doubt you'll reach your goal. By the way, where is that gym with the indoor walking track? That looks very nice!
ReplyDeleteIliana, prioritize is also a good word to use for my goals. Thanks for your support. And the walking track is at the Georgetown Rec Center. I'm not a member there anymore, but have switched to the Cedar Park Rec Center, which is where my yoga classes meet. Cedar Park also has an indoor walking track. I find those very helpful in both winter and summer, but some of my friends think it's a little boring just going round and round. Ha!
DeleteThank you for this honest post, Kay. Not to excuse ourselves from our health goals, but we don't exactly live in a society that encourages health. The TV is full of food-related ads, grocery stores have more junk than good food, the more unhealthy food you eat, the more opportunity to see the doctor, buy medicines, buy insurance, be on some kind of long-lasting pursuit of an expensive goal. I try to tell myself all this when I hit a low - it actually makes it a little easier to continue focusing on my health.
ReplyDeleteBoth my husband and I are trying to lose a lot of weight - I've actually hit my weight goals in the past but I have been very unsuccessful for the past few years. I'm going easier on myself this time and aiming for a more sustainable pace. We'll see how long it lasts. Good luck to you and we are all cheering you on your journey!
I appreciate your cheering, Athira. And I wish you and your husband the same. It's not easy and, as you say, lots of things are thrown at us as temptations. I keep reminding myself that I'm trying to create a livable lifestyle with food and movement. And that holidays come every year - perfection is not the goal - living life in mostly healthy was is.
DeleteYou can do this Kay. As you know from my 30 days post a few bad habits are creeping back here too and it does cause concern. One day and one good decision at a time :)
ReplyDeleteStacy, your last sentence is so true. One decision at a time. Thanks.
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